Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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