Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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