marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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