Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
