Midget sex pt 2 tonight
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Bring me that man meat
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
