doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
