Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize