just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
if i died would you start the facebook group?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
