At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
