Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
