I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
