I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
