Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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