dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
