Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
