I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
