Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize