i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
