my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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