saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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