Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
third nipple confirmed
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
