Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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