I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize