I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
