so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
