I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
