We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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