Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
