Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
