great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
