Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
