I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
