dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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