we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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