have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
