Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize