My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
