i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize