i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dignity is for republicans.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
