her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
