The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Drake has all the answers
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
