For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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