just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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