Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
