Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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