Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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