I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
