You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
