PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
