The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
