you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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