i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize