and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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