No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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