you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
