we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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