what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
