my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
