he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
