The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
