Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize