OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He felt like a one man threesome
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
