you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
