i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
