every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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