There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
