she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
